brain going manic, i start to panic.
this night's not going the way that i planned it.
oxygen's thinning, tires are skidding —
this is all my fault, man, who am i kidding?
if i disappeared would you miss me? would you care? (smash my face into the mirror.) last night i wanted to die — my eyes got watery but i don't think i actually cried.
i've been hating myself. you're the only one who sees me for somebody else. when i'm hanging by a thread, a thread, a thread, i remember what you said, you said, you said.
and if it makes you less sad, i'll take your pictures all down. every picture you paint, i will paint myself out. it's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room when i sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.
i gotta keep my head up, my head up.
i gotta keep myself from feeling ashamed. i'm crying 'cause i'm fucked up, baby, i know that. it's only in my head, but it's not gonna change.
i wish i don’t need you. i’ve been so deprived. boy, when i’m with you my hands are tied, my hands are tied — literally, literally, hopefully, to the bedpost. my hands are tied, literally, literally, unconditionally.
you see, i got this american love, a hidden planet in the solar system. but keep your eyes shut, i just can't stand to say goodbye. big hearts, big hearts — big hearts are for breaking.
stumble home from the bar, it's getting late. i've been drowning my heart just to feel that i'm sane. taking hits every time i play this game. i tell myself that i'm fine — but your whisper's louder than the arctic breeze, and i keep my thoughts buried inside of me. i bite my tongue when i think of you and me.
it's easier to love someone else than it is to be kind to yourself. what's harder then, is to let someone in. you loved me when i couldn't love myself. i couldn't love myself.
PLAYER NAME: eden CONTACT:eloquents CURRENT CHARACTERS: n/a TRIGGERS: n/a
IN CHARACTER
CHARACTER NAME: embry moore CHARACTER AGE: 36 CHARACTER CANON: new camelot trilogy by sierra simone CANON POINT: after ash and greer’s wedding while embry is out here wrecking his life, their lives, and slandering ash’s name to the public. ABILITIES: n/a
SURVEY
WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER'S SOCIOECONOMIC BACKGROUND? WHAT IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO WEALTH?: embry is wealthy and comes from a well-known political family. his mother is a democratic lieutenant governor. embry grew up with horses, yachts, and his own lake. he attended an exclusive all-boys boarding school followed by yale university, where he graduated early and joined the army because he wanted an adventure before settling into his inevitable career in politics. he is very comfortable with wealth but doesn’t necessarily hide or flaunt it — he dresses well in luxury clothing, but makes no distinction between himself and his men while in the army, never asking for or expecting special treatment because of his family legacy (although it’s on the table). he lacks warm family memories, such as spending holidays decorating the christmas tree together, because servants did that in his home. he loves his stepsister morgan in such a way that they only show it during times of deep crisis. ash and greer’s domestic love is the first taste of normal life and love, untainted by wealth, that embry ever experiences.
WHAT WOULD/DID YOUR CHARACTER MAJOR IN?: political science, although embry’s career in politics is inevitable due to his family’s legacy and connections, so he would not have tried hard in school. he is personally interested in classic literature and spends most of his time reading instead (or fucking).
WHAT IS THE MOST INTERESTING THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR CHARACTER?: he met ash colchester, realized he wanted to be his husband, couldn’t do that, went insane, spent the next 20 years having wildly unsafe sex in order to feel alive.
DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER USING ONE SONG FROM THE EARLY 2000S: Why Can’t I? By Liz Phair (we haven't fucked yet but my head’s spinning okkkkkkkkkk)
NAME 1-3 VICES YOUR CHARACTER INDULGES IN: unsafe sex, heavy drinking, drug use
WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER'S LIQUOR OF CHOICE?: top shelf gin or macallan 12, neat (mostly stopped drinking macallan 12 after abilene drugged and raped him, womp womp)
HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER LIKE THEIR EGGS?: fertilized
IF YOUR CHARACTER HAD TO DRINK SOMEONE'S DIRTY BATHWATER, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?: ash colchester, love of his life, his king, his achilles :( and greer galloway, his courageous and sad little princess.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
— baby, i love drinking wine in the park while you shatter my love apart.
AUTHENTIC PINES
WATERY
PHEM
HANGING BY A THREAD
DES ROCS
THE BOY WHO BLOCKED HIS OWN SHOT
BRAND NEW
AMERICAN BLOOD
DEAD POET SOCIETY
PORTRAIT OF A FEMALE
CRUEL YOUTH
AMERICAN LOVE
JACK'S MANNEQUIN
EVERY WORD
ANIMAL SUN
SANS SOLEIL
ALEXISONFIRE
saltburnt app
CONTACT:
CURRENT CHARACTERS: n/a
TRIGGERS: n/a
CHARACTER AGE: 36
CHARACTER CANON: new camelot trilogy by sierra simone
CANON POINT: after ash and greer’s wedding while embry is out here wrecking his life, their lives, and slandering ash’s name to the public.
ABILITIES: n/a
embry is wealthy and comes from a well-known political family. his mother is a democratic lieutenant governor. embry grew up with horses, yachts, and his own lake. he attended an exclusive all-boys boarding school followed by yale university, where he graduated early and joined the army because he wanted an adventure before settling into his inevitable career in politics. he is very comfortable with wealth but doesn’t necessarily hide or flaunt it — he dresses well in luxury clothing, but makes no distinction between himself and his men while in the army, never asking for or expecting special treatment because of his family legacy (although it’s on the table). he lacks warm family memories, such as spending holidays decorating the christmas tree together, because servants did that in his home. he loves his stepsister morgan in such a way that they only show it during times of deep crisis. ash and greer’s domestic love is the first taste of normal life and love, untainted by wealth, that embry ever experiences.
WHAT WOULD/DID YOUR CHARACTER MAJOR IN?:
political science, although embry’s career in politics is inevitable due to his family’s legacy and connections, so he would not have tried hard in school. he is personally interested in classic literature and spends most of his time reading instead (or fucking).
WHAT IS THE MOST INTERESTING THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR CHARACTER?:
he met ash colchester, realized he wanted to be his husband, couldn’t do that, went insane, spent the next 20 years having wildly unsafe sex in order to feel alive.
DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTER USING ONE SONG FROM THE EARLY 2000S:
Why Can’t I? By Liz Phair (we haven't fucked yet but my head’s spinning okkkkkkkkkk)
NAME 1-3 VICES YOUR CHARACTER INDULGES IN:
unsafe sex, heavy drinking, drug use
WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER'S LIQUOR OF CHOICE?:
top shelf gin or macallan 12, neat (mostly stopped drinking macallan 12 after abilene drugged and raped him, womp womp)
HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER LIKE THEIR EGGS?:
fertilized
IF YOUR CHARACTER HAD TO DRINK SOMEONE'S DIRTY BATHWATER, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?:
ash colchester, love of his life, his king, his achilles :( and greer galloway, his courageous and sad little princess.