[ jesus christ. he should have kicked hawk out the second he came in. or at least the second he realized he was here, which was clearly several minutes after he'd come in. he's making assumptions that ring loud and clear, and embry has to kill this story before it gets out of hand. there's no way. there's just no fucking way.
embry lurches to his feet again. puking helped, because he feels a little more alive as he returns to the bedroom, aware of hawk following him around like he's his goddamn lover who's started keeping secrets from him. the bottle is still sitting on the nightstand, and he picks it up now as if it's a mystical item that will somehow return his memories of the night to him. no such luck. ]
I missed you. That's why I called her.
[ there's no evidence that he actually called anyone, but he had to have invited her over. sven would have stopped her if he hadn't let her in. embry takes the bottle to the sink and dumps it out, watching the clear liquid go swishing down the drain. ]
That's why I fucked her. [ he tosses the bottle into the trash, then goes back for the glasses, dumping them into the dishwasher, then strips his bed, flinging sheets and blankets and pillows to the floor until the mattress is bare. ] That's why I started drinking at four in the afternoon and didn't stop until midnight after we were done. Because I missed you, and I hate feeling like that. I hate thinking about you.
[ he sits heavily on the bed, pulling open the drawer of his nightstand to pluck out an orange bottle stuffed with pills of all shapes and colors, and a razor to cut them with. he presses it into hawk's hand. the truth is he hasn't been irresponsibly high in a long time, but it's a convincing, believable lie. of course embry has a stash, and of course he'd be stupid enough to use it. and he had to at least have taken something last night, even though a cursory glance tells him nothing's missing. ]
If you want to take care of anything, then get rid of that. [ he swallows, finally looking up at hawk as he fights to keep the regret from bleeding into his gaze. ] I fucked up, okay? That's what I do. I did it with Ash, and now I'm doing it with you. If you have any questions about what it feels like to be rejected by me, you can ask him. Now leave the goddamn key and get the fuck out of my house.
no subject
embry lurches to his feet again. puking helped, because he feels a little more alive as he returns to the bedroom, aware of hawk following him around like he's his goddamn lover who's started keeping secrets from him. the bottle is still sitting on the nightstand, and he picks it up now as if it's a mystical item that will somehow return his memories of the night to him. no such luck. ]
I missed you. That's why I called her.
[ there's no evidence that he actually called anyone, but he had to have invited her over. sven would have stopped her if he hadn't let her in. embry takes the bottle to the sink and dumps it out, watching the clear liquid go swishing down the drain. ]
That's why I fucked her. [ he tosses the bottle into the trash, then goes back for the glasses, dumping them into the dishwasher, then strips his bed, flinging sheets and blankets and pillows to the floor until the mattress is bare. ] That's why I started drinking at four in the afternoon and didn't stop until midnight after we were done. Because I missed you, and I hate feeling like that. I hate thinking about you.
[ he sits heavily on the bed, pulling open the drawer of his nightstand to pluck out an orange bottle stuffed with pills of all shapes and colors, and a razor to cut them with. he presses it into hawk's hand. the truth is he hasn't been irresponsibly high in a long time, but it's a convincing, believable lie. of course embry has a stash, and of course he'd be stupid enough to use it. and he had to at least have taken something last night, even though a cursory glance tells him nothing's missing. ]
If you want to take care of anything, then get rid of that. [ he swallows, finally looking up at hawk as he fights to keep the regret from bleeding into his gaze. ] I fucked up, okay? That's what I do. I did it with Ash, and now I'm doing it with you. If you have any questions about what it feels like to be rejected by me, you can ask him. Now leave the goddamn key and get the fuck out of my house.